Sir William Blake Richmond, Countess of Airlie
You’ve heard the song (JLL, 1958)! You’ve seen the movie (JLG, 1960)! Now do the crossword (DAB, 2020)!
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Crossword 118: Conjunction Conversion
Thomas Anshutz, A Rose
Here's a riddle: What Pakistani president's first name is a catchphrase used by Alicia Silverstone's character in the 1995 film Clueless? The answer is in this week’s puzzle's revealer!
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118-Conjunction-Conversion.puz
118-Conjunction-Conversion.pdf
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N.B. Curious about my shockingly unorthodox views on crossword substitution themes? See my FAQs, or the introductions to Crossword 031 and Crossword 59.
A crossword of mine will appear in papers that carry Universal Crossword on Friday, February 28.
Crossword 117: A Miss is as Good as a Mile
Hubert von Herkomer, Miss May Miles
“A miss is as good as a mile”—what an odd expression! “Miss” and “mile” are grammatically but not conceptually parallel. “Good” actually means “bad.” It’s a triumph of sound over sense, and therefore well suited to this web site.
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117-A-Miss-is-as-Good-as-a-Mile.puz
117-A-Miss-is-as-Good-as-a-Mile.pdf
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Crossword 116: Demilitarization
William Frederick Yeames, Peace and War
My late foray into gritty realism seems not to have paid off: ad revenue is flat (at $0.00), circulation has not increased—and in fact I’ve decided to abandon the whole idea and return to my old sunshiny ways. So in today’s puzzle I turn again to my longstanding goal of bringing peace to a troubled world.
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Crossword 115: Raptor Riot
Albert Joseph Moore, Birds of the Air
Here’s another hard-hitting, boundary-pushing, award-worthy puzzle, featuring graphic representations of predatory behavior. Hide the children!
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A crossword of mine will appear Thursday, Februrary 6, in the Wall Street Journal.
Crossword 114: Making the Worst of Things
John William Waterhouse, Pandora
Two weeks ago I pushed this web site in a daring new direction, challenging aesthetic norms in order to engage with the gritty underside of the human condition. The critical plaudits I expected, however, have not arrived, at least not yet; so it’s time to double down, to go all in, to—what’s another tough-sounding idiom like that? I don’t know. Anyway, if you’re a complacent member of the bourgeoisie, prepare to be shocked!
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114-Making-the-Worst-of-Things.puz
114-Making-the-Worst-of-Things.pdf
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A crossword of mine will appear Wednesday, January 29, in the Wall Street Journal.
Crossword 113: Can You Fill This Out?
Benjamin Leader, February Fill Dyke
Hey all you fledgling crossword constructors—are you stuck for a title? Well, no need to hunt up an online mentor to help you create one—just use mine! It fits my new crossword pretty well, but it has the virtue of also fitting any crossword whatsoever! I may use it again myself!
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113-Can-You-Fill-This-Out?.puz
113-Can-You-Fill-This-Out?.pdf
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Crossword 112: Raising L
James Jacques Joseph Tissot, A Passing Storm
In various of my crosswords (for example, Nos. 039, 043, 058) I have tried to brighten my little corner of the Internet by taking up unpleasant phrases and infusing them with harmless mirth. And where has it got me? I’ve heard nothing from the Nobel Committee. The MacArthur Foundation has been silent. Clearly my website needs an edge. So here goes!
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A crossword of mine will appear Sunday, January 12, in the Los Angeles Times, and another Wednesday, January 15, in the Wall Street Journal.
Crossword 111: End Illiteracy!
James Sant, The Schoolmaster's Daughter
In the scary world of the future, when everything is done by video, will literacy be necessary, or even useful? And what then will become of the Victorian novel recommendation? And what then will become of the crossword puzzle? Well, let’s enjoy them while we can.
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Crossword 110: Southern Drawl
William Henry Buck, Swamp Scene
So you’ve lived in the South all your life, and you don't talk this way, and you don’t know anybody who talks this way, and nothing annoys you so much as linguistic inaccuracy in sound-replacement crosswords, and in fact you’re still fuming about Crossword 054? Well, that’s too bad.
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Crossword 109: For the Present
John Ritchie, Christmas Day
Here’s a puzzle that will inspire you to complete a certain pre-Christmas chore, if you happen to engage in this pre-Christmas chore. If you don’t—here’s a puzzle that will inspire you to congratulate yourself for escaping a certain pre-Christmas chore.
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A crossword of mine will appear Friday, December 27, in the Los Angeles Times.
Crossword 108: Secret Transmission
Edward Robert Hughes, The Secret Letter
If the title’s suggestion of something lurid or dangerous frightens you—don’t worry. Nothing of the sort is permitted to intrude on this website’s atmosphere of stately calm, of idyllic reverie. And if you’re inclined to doze off like the lady in the picture above, go right ahead. You’re safe here.
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A crossword of mine will appear Monday, December 16, in Universal Crossword, and another Friday, December 20, in the Los Angeles Times
Crossword 107: Inner Lemons
Jessica Hayllar - The Lemonade Drink
People often ask me, “Why are you so wonderful? What's your secret?” Well, I'll tell you what it is: it’s my attitude! I always look on the bright side! When life gives me lemons, I make a crossword puzzle!
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A crossword of mine will appear Sunday, December 8, in Universal Crossword, and another Wednesday, December 11, in the Wall Street Journal.
Crossword 106: My G-Generation
Frederick Goodall, Age and Infancy
And just what generation is that, you wonder? Am I a precocious preteen? A jaded old man? I’m not going to tell you. I try to make puzzles that precocious preteens and jaded old men can solve, ignorant though they may be of sixties television on the one hand, of internet memes on the other. Alas, I don’t always succeed. 55 Across in today’s puzzle is based on a Rastafarian slang phrase that may elude both demographics. But what can I say? It fits the theme.
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Crossword 105: End Times
Marcus Stone, The End Of The Story
Are we nearing the end? Is the human race on the brink of collapse?? Is there nothing left for us but a period of hopeless mass suffering amid war, and disease, and famine that will end only in our species’ extinction???
Oh well—here’s a crossword puzzle.
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A crossword of mine will appear Friday, November 29, in The Los Angeles Times (and The Chicago Tribune, The Houston Chronicle, The San Francisco Chronicle, etc.)
Crossword 103: Wowee!
Charles West Cope, Oliver Cromwell and His Secretary John Milton, Receiving a Deputation Seeking Aid for the Swiss Protestants
The inspiration for this as for many of my puzzles is a classic work of literature:
Who would not sing for Lycidas? he knew
Himself to sing, and build the lofty rhyme.
He must not float upon his wat’ry bier
Unwept, and welter to the parching wind,
Without the meed of some melodious tear.
—John Milton, Lycidas (1637)
“Wat’ry bier”? Can you read that without thinking of a hilarious pun? I can’t. I’m sure that Milton is pleased and flattered, assuming he is in a place with web access.
I’ve now given you one hundred 15 x 15 crossword puzzles. I will conclude the second year of my website’s existence, as I did the first, with two 21 x 21 puzzles. Why do I do this? Why do I toil so long and so hard to make crosswords and recommend Victorian novels? Only because I love humanity.
But I wouldn’t mind making a little money too. And maybe you wouldn’t mind giving me a little, as a small gesture of gratitude? If not, just click the button below and follow instructions. Donate $12, and I’ll send you a 15 x 15 Victorian crossword puzzle (that is, a puzzle that uses only words and phrases current in the Victorian era)! Donate $13.50, and I’ll send you an all new 21 x 21 puzzle! Donate $15 and I’ll send you both!
And since no one claimed it last year, I am this year offering again a special bonus for the first person who donates $10,000,000 or more: not only will I send you both puzzles, but also I’ll rename this website in your honor! So if your name is, say, Warren Buffet, after your donation the website will be known as "Warren Buffet Presents David Alfred Bywaters’s Crossword Cavalcade and Victorian Novel Recommender." But don’t delay—only the first donor at the $10,000,000 level will be eligible for this bonus.
(By the way, the Squarespace system requires you to enter your name and address on its form. My privacy policy is to take no notice and make no use whatsoever of this information. But If you’d rather made a donation directly to davidalfredbywaters@gmail.com through PayPal or Venmo, please do so.)
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A crossword of mine will appear Sunday, November 10, and another Thursday, November 14, in Universal Crosswords
Crossword 102: It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore
Charles West Cope, Breakfast Time, Morning Games
This puzzle’s title phrase, as the solver will probably know, comes from an old orange juice commercial. It has since been humorously appropriated to beer. “Beer: It’s Not Just for Breakfast Anymore.” Ha ha. And that’s not all. An internet search turns up several hundred other things you can insert into this ready-make little joke: pizza, bourbon, coke, chocolate, roadkill, napalm, breakfast, prozac, social media, etc., etc. It’s the hive mind at work, and I’m not too proud to make my own little contribution.
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102-It's-Not-Just-for-Breakfast-Anymore.puz
102-It's-Not-Just-for-Breakfast-Anymore.pdf
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A crossword of mine will appear November 3 in The Los Angeles Times (and The Chicago Tribune, The Houston Chronicle, The San Francisco Chronicle, etc.); another will appear Thursday, November 7, in the Wall Street Journal.
Crossword 101: Another Weakly Crossword
John Atkinson Grimshaw, Scarborough Beach
I know what you’re saying: “But your crosswords aren't weakly, David Alfred Bywaters; don't be so hard on yourself!” And of course you’re right. They’re weakly (unclogged as they are by professional sports, super-heroes, Star Wars trivia, and the latest fratboy slang) only as some agile, clever, neatly dressed fellow sipping a cool drink at the oceanside bar is weakly in comparison to the shirtless, musclebound lout gaping emptily on the beach below.
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101-Another-Weakly-Crossword.puz
101-Another-Weakly-Crossword.pdf
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A crossword of mine will appear Thursday, October 31 (Halloween!), in The Los Angeles Times (and The Chicago Tribune, The Houston Chronicle, The San Francisco Chronicle, etc.)
Crossword 100: Centered
John Charlton - 'God save the Queen' - Queen Victoria arriving at St Paul's Cathedral on the Occasion of the Diamond Jubilee Thanksgiving Service, 22 June 1897
If you’ve solved my first 99 posted crosswords, you might make a shrewd guess as to the theme of my 100th. As some ancient sage said, or ought to have said, “Contempt for the obvious is as crippling as the inability to see beyond it.”
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A crossword of mine will appear Friday, October 25, in The Los Angeles Times (and The Chicago Tribune, The Houston Chronicle, The San Francisco Chronicle, etc.)
Crossword 099: In Deep
John Anster Fitzgerald, The Chase of the White Mouse
As I’ve pointed out already on this website, there’s no fun in embedding a word in a common phrase (like WORD in FOLLOW ORDERS) when you can embed it in an amusingly uncommon phrase invented for the purpose (like WORD in COW ORDINATION). I’ve done it before (006, 042, 047, 049, 055, and 074); today I do it again.
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A crossword of mine will appear Wednesday, October 16, in Universal Crosswords, another Thursday, October 17, in the Wall Street Journal, and yet another Friday, October 18, in the Los Angeles Times (and The Chicago Tribune, The Houston Chronicle, The San Francisco Chronicle, etc.)