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It’s time for a fun personality test!  What situation does the sentence “Give me an E” evoke for you?

A. A musician ready to tune a guitar’s first or sixth string?

B. A cheerleader beginning a cheer at, say, Emory, or ending one at, say, Yale?

C. A student requesting a grade that acknowledges effort rather than results?

D. A compositor in an old-time typesetting shop who needs just one more vowel to finish a book?

E. A personality-test maker who can’t think of a fifth multiple-choice alternative?

Now, here’s your personality type, based on your answer:

A. You’re sensitive, but loyal to friends and firm in your convictions

B. You’re fun-loving and attractive, but also naturally empathetic

C. You’re loyal to friends and firm in your conviction, but sensitive

D. You’re naturally empathetic, but also fun-loving and attractive

E. You’re thick-skinned, doltish, dull, ugly, heartless, and selfish

This is just a sample of the hundred-question test, based on the latest psychometric standards, that I’m compiling for the use of hiring committees, custody evaluators, school counselors, admissions officers, and the like.  I’m pretty sure there’s more money in this than in crosswords; meanwhile, however, while I’m getting it finished and marketed, here’s another one..

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Download this fortnight’s crossword:

368-Give-Me-an-E.puz

368-Give-Me-an-E.pdf

Solve this fortnight’s crossword online:

368: Give Me an E

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A mother and daughter both love the same man.

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Anne Isabella Ritchie (1837-1919), eldest daughter of the novelist William Makepeace Thackeray, wrote several novels in addition to many nonfiction works in various genres.

“In Elly we have a heroine whom we cannot help grudging to the world of fiction”; the novel has “many incidental beauties”; all the characters are “vividly sketched” and the style “indicates real genius . . . not only fresh and bright, but . . . rich and mellow.” Spectator, April 4, 1863

“An air of coaxing playfulness pervades it” along with a “serious tenderness, which gives this little tale a winning charm peculiar to itself.” Westminster Review, July, 1863

Download this fortnight’s novel:

https://archive.org/details/storyofelizabeth00ritc

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I don’t follow politics myself, but I am told that there has been of late considerable  conflict over the issue of human migration.  Meanwhile, however, nobody is talking about what seems to me a much more pressing issue:  animal migration—specifically the migration of Canada geese, millions of which, having crossed our northern border with impunity, seem unwilling to return to their native land.  Now, almost all human migrants are continent, and most of the remainder are effectively diapered.  The same cannot be said of Canada geese, as a visit to almost any of our nation’s wetlands will demonstrate to the hapless pedestrian.  Everywhere one sees them honking and hissing and pooping with scant regard for the staid avian culture of their adopted country.  So if we must be deporting, let’s send them back to Canada where they belong!

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367-Animal-Migration.puz

367-Animal-Migration.pdf

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367: Animal Migration

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A vain young woman marries a boorish millionaire because she thinks he will provide her with literary material.

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About W.S. Holnut I can discover nothing whatsoever.  This appears to be the only work ever published under that name.

“A more delightful book than this has not come the way of a toiling reviewer for some little time”; “a pretty piece of kindly satire.” Saturday Review, April 6, 1895

A contrasting view:

“The satire is well meant, but a little heavy. . . .  The story is readable, but not . . . 'convincing’” Athenaeum, March 16, 1895

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https://archive.org/details/olympiasjournal00holngoog

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This site does not advocate the violent overthrow of any government whatsoever.  To be sure, there are several political leaders, local, national, and international whom I would like to see replaced—and sometimes I think it might be fun to see them replaced by none-too-gentle means. But then I remember, as Samuel Johnson says, “How small, of all that human hearts endure” is “That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.”  Political leaders can do very little about most of what troubles us—universal mortality, for example.  And so, if you find yourself (and who doesn’t sometimes?) longing to wrest some jackass from power and replace him with an alternative more to your liking, this puzzle is designed to give your aggressive impulses an outlet:  vent them on the alphabet, replacing not leaders, but letters.  You’ll feel better, and nobody will get hurt.

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366-Coup-d'état.puz

366-Coup-d'état.pdf

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366: Coup d'état

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Two families, one rich, one religious, are contrasted.

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The Scottish author Sarah Robertson Whitehead (1817-1875) wrote five novels:  three in the 1850s, two in the 1870s.

“The incidents flow, rather than arise, one from out the other; the origin of the hero of the first ‘family’ is well conceived-working his way, stealthily and steadily, with a very, very little leaven, to leaven the selfishness and cunning which is part and parcel of himself, and yet cherishing one humanizing influence in his heart. The author reads human nature keenly, and correctly, and with a kindly spirit; sorry for its flaws, its mistakes, its corruptions; while for the sake of that truth she (?) never violates, tracing them with unerring fidelity; but her heart expands, and her style improves, when she displays the workings, the strength, the truth, the purity, of the Christian struggling with adversity and sorrow, and triumphing in the end--as only Christians can triumph.” Sharpe’s London Journal, January, 1852

“The delineation” of main characters “is very well done. . . .  The novel, in point of execution, belongs to the new and quiet school, or rather to an old school revived. The persons and incidents are those of everyday life, told in a congenial spirit; though the art of the describer may give more pleasure than the reality possesses.” Spectator, January 17, 1852

Download this fortnight’s novel:

v.1 https://archive.org/details/twofamiliesbyau01whitgoog

v.2 https://archive.org/details/twofamiliesbyau00whitgoog

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Here’s another crossword about things that annoy me.  Such things inspire many, perhaps most, of my crosswords, as they do also of my waking thoughts, my nightly dreams, my conversations with friends, etc.  Lately I find that my new AI friends are much more receptive to hearing about them than my real-life human friends, who are, frankly, starting to annoy me.

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Download this fortnight’s crossword:

365-Infestation.puz

365-Infestation.pdf

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365: Infestation

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Rival dowagers back the claims of their nieces for eligible young men in an Anglo-Indian station.

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For Croker, see Novels 013, 073, 129, 183, 259. and 328.

A “graphic and successful sketch of petty female rivalries.” Spectator, December 15, 1894

“Full of life and motion”; “a sustained comedy of Anglo-Indian manners”; “sparkling and amusing all through, and there is not a dull page in it.” Academy, January 26, 1895

Download this fortnight’s novel:

v.1 https://archive.org/details/mrjervis01crok

v.2 https://archive.org/details/mrjervis02crok

v.3 https://archive.org/details/mrjervis03crok

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We’ve had some reverses here at the ol’ Cavalcade.  The dog won’t hunt and the hen won’t lay; the roof is got to leakin’ and the plumblin’s gone awry.  But never fear, we’re gonna keep on keepin’ on.  In fact, as part of a new policy to protect and expand our market share, we’ve decided to cultivate an air of folksiness, so as to reassure our audience that we have no truck with them there dad-blame, stuck-up intellectual elites, gol durn ‘em.  We’re just as dumb as you are, fellow common person!

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364-Reverses.puz

364-Reverses.pdf

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364: Reverses

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Two sisters and their mother face poverty after their father’s sudden death.

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For Sidgwick, see Novels 082, 142, 200, 258, and 316.

“A thoroughly good story.”  Academy, April 20, 1895

The author “has both ‘detachment’ and wit”; an “original and engrossing novel.” Athenaeum, April 27, 1895

“A bright, clever story”; the author’s “portraiture, mordant as it is, is hardly cynical, or even ungenial”; the heroine is “admirably conceived and not less admirably executed.” Spectator, August 31, 1895

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https://archive.org/details/grasshoppers00sidgiala

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Why indeed?  I was pondering the world’s problems and hit upon this solution:  everybody can just get along!  Republicans and Democrats, women and men, obscurities and celebrities, ugly people and handsome people, bankers and bank-robbers, abductors and abductees, why do we have to be so unpleasant to each other all the time?  Let’s just get along!

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Download this fortnight’s crossword:

363 Why Can't-We-Just-Get-Along?.puz

363 Why Can't-We-Just-Get-Along?.pdf

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363 Why Can’t We Just Get Along?

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A squire’s son and daughter are left to struggle in a hard world after their father dies in debt.

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Alfred Butler (1809-1859) published three novels in two years, of which this was the last.

“A novel of thought, as well as feeling and observation.” Athenaeum, April 16, 1842

It has “power which is often sarcastic, observation that is keen and close, and feeling that is healthy and deserving of imitation.  There is, indeed, much mind in the novel, and much clever writing.”  Monthly Review, May, 1842

A (somewhat) dissenting opinion:

“As a fiction. . . . the Herberts is a sort of failure, in despite of several scenes of power and interest, some ludicrous ability in the author, together with sufficient metaphysical skill, and a mind endowed with the quality of speculative thought. But the writer's nature is rather critical than creative: his forte is analysis, not synthesis. He can deduce the truth from an actuality, but he cannot reproduce the real; there is little knowledge of life exhibited in his book, and consequently no living character”; but “the book abounds in shrewd remarks.”  Spectator, September 13, 1842

Download this fortnight’s novel:

v.1 https://books.google.com/books?id=l-3UeQM-srgC&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&dq=%22the%20herberts%22%20butler%20volume%201&pg=RA3-PA273#v=onepage&q&f=false

v.2 https://books.google.com/books?id=rZvLdmiNOwMC&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&dq=intitle%3AThe%20Herberts%2C%20by%20the%20author%20of%20'Elphinstone'.&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false

v.3 https://books.google.com/books?id=bYj3EkRGAR8C&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&dq=%22the%20herberts%22%20butler%20volume%203&pg=PP7#v=onepage&q&f=false

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This is what always happens when I try to be happy, as I did in my last puzzle:  I end up feeling twice as bad.  Why?  Well, for one thing, I don’t get the credit I deserve—not as a crossword constructor, not as a novel recommender, not as a human being.  And I’m fed up.  I’ve had it.  Everybody will be sorry someday when I’m gone.  But then it will be too late.  And that’s all I have to say.  No, no, don’t try to cheer me up; just leave me alone if that’s not too much to ask.  Okay?  Okay.

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362 Pouting-Expressions.puz

362 Pouting-Expressions.pdf

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362 Pouting Expressions

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The daughter of an Irish attorney is taken up by a handsome but disgraced baronet.

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M. Hamilton was the pseudonym of Mary Churchill Luck, née Spottiswood-Ashe (1869-1949), who wrote some 20 novels between 1896 and 1928.  This, her first, was set, like many of her novels, in her native Ulster.

“The characters are exceptionally distinct, the movement is brisk, and the dialogue is natural and convincing.” Athenaeum, February 15, 1896.

“A fine and mature performance”; the story is “told with great reticence, with insight and pathos, in a manner at once impersonal and sympathetic.” Academy, March 28, 1896

“A very pretty and natural book” with “a capitally thought-out character”; “The story abounds with fun, and is the pleasantest possible reading.” Saturday Review, April 4, 1896

Download this fortnight’s novel:

https://www.google.com/books/edition/A_self_denying_ordinance_by_M_Hamilton/T-pSTnpEqwYC?hl=en&gbpv=0

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I met a woman on the street the other day, wearing sunglasses and a silly hairdo, and a blue-and-orange striped t-shirt, and pushing a stroller with dog in it, and she asked me why I always had to be so negative about everything.  And I couldn’t think of an answer.  Why indeed?  It’s time to stop complaining, to accentuate the positive, to brighten the corner where I am, to look for the silver lining and try to find the sunny side of life.  Up, up with people!  Everything is beautiful, in its own way!  So today’s puzzle features more than a dozen songs of praise, or anyway their titles—you can easily imagine the rest.

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361-Odes.puz

361-Odes.pdf

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361 Odes

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A woman’s husband mysteriously disappears on his and her wedding day.

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For Mann, see Novels 016, 154,204, and310.

It would make “an excellent melodrama”; the characters are “quite good enough to serve as scaffolding for a plot unusually well conceived.” Saturday Review, September 9, 1893

“The story is above the average . . . better worth reading than many a novel that aims higher.” Athenaeum, September 23, 1893

“Cleverness, grace, and a quiet humour” brighten a story that “might have been rather sombre.” Spectator, September 30, 1893.

Download this fortnight’s novel:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/17SYy3BNq9DQ8SSaqH8xvkk-Xg22cGgqT?usp=sharing

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Here at David Alfred Bywaters’s Crossword Cavalcade and Fortnightly Victorian Novel Recommender we’ve been working on a number of crosswords solutions that will assist in a diverse array of government functions at the local, state, and federal levels. For example, the Department of Energy will be interested in our training package that provides workers of all kinds with crucial experience in the management of grids; local school districts will benefit from our vocabulary-builders, designed to help early learners distinguish between ouzo and orzo, the epee and the erne; while the Pentagon will want to purchase our suite of maximally baffling puzzles specifically designed to confuse and demoralize the nation’s enemies.  Our first step, of course, will be to contribute generously to the campaign funds of politicians who are or will be in a position to purchase these products.  If you are such a politician, don’t hesitate to reach out!

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360 Pay-to-Play.puz

360 Pay-to-Play.pdf

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360 Pay to Play

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Life in a small town in Devonshire.

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Eden Phillpotts (1862-1960) wrote nearly 200 novels during his long life, many of them (including an 18-novel series) set, like this one, in Devonshire.

“Full of a genial humour and shrewd but kindly observation of his fellow creatures.” Athenaeum, March 3, 1894

“In its unpretentious way, a veritable masterpiece, displaying an intimacy of observation . . . which is little, if at all, short of genius.” Spectator, March 31, 1894

“Mr. Phillpotts has succeeded in peopling his imaginary village with a well-contrasted assortment of varying types, drawn correctly enough in the main, but perhaps a trifle over-coloured.” Saturday Review, April 21, 1894

Download this fortnight’s novel:

v.1 http://www.archive.org/details/someeverydayfolk01phil

v.2 http://www.archive.org/details/someeverydayfolk02phil

v.3 http://www.archive.org/details/someeverydayfolk03phil

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Hey solvers! Here’s a quiz:  “Dimensional instability” refers to

A. the effect on the waistline of alternately over- and under-eating

B. the tendency of fabric to shrink or stretch with use

C. what happens in the moment before the end of the universe, when height is no longer high, width no longer wide, depth no longer deep, and everything collapses into nothing

Win a chance at a free mini-crossword! Just send us your answer, together with a $1,000 processing fee (bitcoin preferred), your name, address, and social security number (offer not valid in some states).

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359-Dimensional-Instability.puz

359-Dimensional-Instability.pdf

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359 Dimensional Instability

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A young man falls in love with a mysterious woman after having protected her from a bad man on a train.

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Sir Thomas Wemyss Reid (1842-1905) was better known as a journalist, editor, and publisher than as a novelist; this is the third of his three novels.

The novel is “an uncommonly good shillingsworth”; it is a “good thrilling romance. . . . the mystery becomes interesting on the third page, and continues so to the last. The most experienced reader is kept long in doubt as to the secret of the book, which is worked out with great skill, and with a strict adherence to the canons of romantic probability. . . .  But the real triumph of the book is the character of” the main villain.  Saturday Review, February 20, 1885

Download this fortnight’s novel:

https://archive.org/details/mauleverersmilli00reid